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THE "BORISMASTER"
LONDON TRANSPORT'S GREATEST-EVER DISASTER!
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Now listen here, Cameron - "This fantastic machine is chock-full
with the latest technology, and London buses will be world leaders once again when the first eight buses take to our roads early next year. They are just an advance party for what I envisage will eventually be a legion of their type!" OK?
On Friday 4th November 2011, Boris Johnson - the mad Mayor of London - personally drove the first of London's next-generation buses (LJ61 CJE) off the production line at the Wrightbus factory in Ballymena, proving conclusively that TfL (Transport for London) has truly lost its grip on reality.
It was TfL who decided to scrap the Routemaster, a reliable, relatively uncomplicated bus that had served London well for over forty years. Reasons given for this decision included the need for a crew of two (a saving in staff wages) and the dangers of an open rear platform in these compensation-crazy days where idiots were likely to fall off and start legal action.
SINCE 3rd APRIL 2006
LAST UPDATED 8 JANUARY 2012
So what do they replace the Routemaster with? The "Borismaster"! This bus not only has a front entrance and centre exit, but also an open rear platform! And it will need a crew of at least two, as there is no way a solo driver can supervise three entrances and two stairways. But Boris insists it will not need a conductor. For four years he has been asked how it can safely operate, and the latest suggestion is employing a PCSO (Police Community Support Officer) on the back platform! What? !!
Depending whose figures you read, these eight buses have cost either £300,000 each, after the £7 million spent developing the thing, (total £9.4 million), or £11 million in total (£1,375,000 each!)
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And my personal opinion? Well I hope I am never asked to drive one in service anywhere, let alone on the busy streets of London. This contraption is a mobile road traffic accident. I predict that there will be injuries and accidents involving the rear platform (and various other parts of the bus), and phenomenal expense replacing the gigantic sheets of curved glass, which are very vulnerable in minor bumps or acts of vandalism. I wonder how much a replacement windscreen will cost, for example? And I predict, with all this amazing "technology" on board, that when the thing eventually enters service there will be a photograph of it broken down at the roadside in all the newspapers within a week!
The advantages suggested are the low fuel consumption, quoted as 11.6 miles per gallon. However, modern hybrid buses already in service can do between 8.6 and 9.9 mpg. At Dewsbury Bus Museum we have an Albion Valiant, built in the 1950s, that can do about 10 mpg!!!
The high passenger capacity is also quoted - 87 passengers. Well, I am currently driving 80-seaters on the Leeds-Huddersfield services, which - with a few standing - can easily exceed 87.
So what is the point? Well, lots of taxpayers' money has been spent on this pile of junk, and lots of highly-paid politicians and business people are rubbing their hands with glee.
"Every bus should be a piece of street furniture!"
I have no doubt at all that Boris is raving mad; but the worrying thing is that he is surrounded by "yes-men" who actually believe in him. TfL has definitely broken away from sanity!
But, in spite of the weird hairstyle and the very short jacket sleeves, Boris might just have a grain of commonsense - he has bought a bicycle so he doesn't have to travel on these buses!
I've no idea what he is doing in the photo, but it is strongly reminiscent of Benny Hill's famous character, Captain Fred Scuttle!
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